Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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