I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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