Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
