I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
