Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
