How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
