How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
