So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
