You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
