I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
