Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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