Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
