yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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