The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The best revenge is premature balding
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
