So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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