to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize