Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
