Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
