dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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