Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
