All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
