Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize