Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
