It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
