this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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