i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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