Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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