You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
