their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
