Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
