Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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