Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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