why didn't you poke me back
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize