just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
