I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
