Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
