No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
