My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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