last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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