it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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