Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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