my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
