He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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