His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
