Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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