I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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