Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
