Nicole vs. Life
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
