put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize