No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
no, he came in my armpit
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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