she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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