Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
