u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
