I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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