My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
