Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
