You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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