I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize