Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
