Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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