I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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