You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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