Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
