Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
