Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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