Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
