he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize